Lost Breath
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: Rin felt alone, just as a weapon should be; it ached knowing that no one had ever loved him. *Deanon to the Ao No Exorcist Kink Meme.*


It starts as a simple pressing against his skull, insistent words that refuse to go away; he feels it resonate within his whole being; 'You're just a weapon to use.'

He hates it, hates the way, it snags the energy from his tongue, hates the way, it makes his eyes tear up, hates the way it makes him draw in on himself.

It started when he grew angry and longed to protect Shiemi and then he 'lost control.'

The court case tore through Rin, the cold wauture.'y, his brother had been treating him for so long; the way his friends pulled away, leaving Rin almost entirely alone, and the daily practices with Shura to control himself for his safety, for his 'future.'

It clung and burned its way through him, made him feel weak; Rin hated it, hated the way it never left him.

'You'll make a good weapon, won't you?'  
'The perfect specimen to defeat Satan and save humanity.'

It echoed through his veins, leaving marks just beneath the surface, unaided by the blood that dripped from his palm when his hands dug too deep.

Rin took a deep breath, pushing aside the worry, the stress; he was needed for this at least.

Being human only reached so far; he wasn't quite there.

It stung harsher than a needle, left him worn out, exhausted, tears spent.

His smile feels fabricated like it was simply a lie woven to make them not worry, not like they would; he missed class though he never thought he would.

It ached and ached, left him feeling empty from its resonating power; he didn't talk to many people but Shura anymore, couldn't work up the energy half the time to even smile at his brother.

Rin loved him, loved him sometimes more than he should, but knew better, knew with every aching pulse that Yukio couldn't ever love the spawn of a demon as much as Rin was; Yukio at least was human. Rin was not anymore, lost it the day that he lost his father, the man who had raised him, seemingly loved him.

Father Fujimoto surely saw a weapon, something to raise to get rid of the worst problem that he'd ever had to deal with, someone that would avenge him one day.

Rin felt the tears drip down, one after another, racing to get to the floor as fast as possible, and they burned as they fell; he pulled himself into a tighter ball on his bed, wishing that that ache would leave him, catch his breath, so that he could at least breathe.

The half human had been reduced from human to a monster in hardly any time at all, had no way to climb out of this hole, this pit, but he wipes his tears away anyway, wipes them away as the door opens up, hides his face within the crease of his elbow, and just ignores the man that walks in, the human that walks in.

Yukio sets his bag down, looking up, startled by the sight of his brother curled up in a sloppy, not quite rounded ball on the bed, elbow half shining under the light that he'd just turned on.

"Rin?" Yukio steps in, pulls Rin close into his arms, awkwardly pressing him closer, ignoring the tears that leave trails down his cheeks as he finally cries at seeing his brother like this, seeing him this broken.

Rin doesn't answer, trying to recurl up, trying to ignore the safety net of the arms around him.

"I love you." Yukio tries to draw his older brother out of his shell, tries to let him know that he still cares despite everything.

"...'Too." Is all that Yukio can hear as he tightens his hold.

"You may only be half human, but," Yukio breathes, trying to find the right words, "But you're more human than I usually feel."

"No, I'm not." Rin tries to make the words loud enough for his brother to understand, but it still comes out in little more than a croak.

"Yeah, you are." Yukio breathes, holding Rin closer.

"Why are you crying? You're human, you're not just a weapon, but a really good Exorcist." Rin finally finds the words to say, feeling his heart crack at the thought.

"I care about you." Yukio breathes, hoping that his tears will fade soon, "And I know that you are more than a weapon. Our blood scares me yet I know that you are much stronger than I am, that you are able to keep going despite it being a constant in your life."

"I care about you too." Rin peeks up, staring into his brother's eyes despite the sharp light that reflected off of his glasses.

Yukio blushed in embarrassment as they both came to calm down and as he hugged him closer; it began to grow awkward now as they calmed down as their breaths regulated.

Rin finally mustered the courage to speak now, "Thank you, Yukio." It felt almost like a relief now to stay cuddled up on the bed, carefully calming down, feeling more loved, more cared for, and feeling more human with each heart beat that resonated through their proximity.

He pressed closer against his younger brother, refusing to feel embarrassed by their tight hug unlike the way his younger brother blushed and let the embarrassment catch on.

The oldest felt happy now, happier than yesterday seemed, happier since that night that left him bruised and broken, happier since his friends shut him out.

He at least had Yukio to lean on on the days that he could barely breathe now.


End file.
